Writing [Written Album] Vita

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  1. Concept: I had been wanting .. .. .. ..... ... . ..... ... ........... ....... . .......... .... . .... ..... ....... . .... ........ ... ...... .... ..... . .. ........... .... .. ......... ............ . .... . ..... .. ........ .. ... ..... .. .. ...... ... ........ . ... ....... .... .. ..... ... .... ... ...... ............. .... .. .... ... .... .. ...... ......... ........ .. . .......... ........ ... .. ......... . .... ... .... ..... .... ...... .. .. ............ .. ... ........ ... .. ... ........ ........ ...... .... . .......... .... .......... .......... .. .. ........ .... ..... .. ... .......... ........ .. ... .. ... ......... ..... .. ... ........ ... .... ..... .. .... .......... .. .... .. .. ........ .. ... ......... ... ....... ....
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    [Verse 1]

    I ran over a black cat last night,
    I ran over it five times twice, ‘cause cats have nine lives,
    When asked about it I denied and provided a lie,
    Some truth in that though ‘cause I don't even drive,
    Not meant to anyway, I was never taught it,
    Couldn't afford it or be bothered, at Xmas that was a problem,
    ‘Cause my ex miss was ignorant, said I'd never be important
    I ignored it - bitch, I'm a mod on a hip hop forum! (BOOM)
    But it's OK, Katie’s, I mean, “kitty's” now under a car,
    And I got off with no charge ‘cause I blamed my arch enemy Lars (bye!),
    As far as I'm concerned there's no such thing as defeat,
    The only time I've been beat is when a girl’s touching me,
    That reminds me of my ex, whom I dumped last year,
    She said the only time I got her wet was when I made her shed tears,
    “Don't worry...” I said when she asked will I ever again see her,
    “The memories are forever”... shit I forgot she has amnesia (oh well)

    [Hook]

    So this is a ditty about yours truly,
    A sheep shagging Brit, not from the 313,
    So if you're from the 313 then don't follow please
    Because it'll be a long swim across the seven seas
    … lel, RIP,
    Now here's some more about me

    [Verse 2]

    I met a feminist today, but she was rude to me,
    Said I was eyeing her sideways, and exuding my impurities,
    Then claimed feminines are sexualised, due to media's crudity,
    She then protested it outside, by removing her clothes and doing public nudity,
    She just didn't get through to me, I think this shit is made up,
    Like the phrase “mirroring drums”, or autism,
    Oh those bars made you scoff, not laugh?
    Then here's some reel hip hawp (yeehaw) that really goes hard

    [Interlude]

    Yo yo yo yo break it down yo
    Yo YO Yo yo (just fucking get on with it)
    Break it down… ayo

    [Verse 3]

    Put me on the PS4 Mount Rushmore, ‘cause I'm ahead of the game (G),
    I'm a serial killer in Ireland ‘cause I leave every rapper slain (slane) (O),
    I'm only awake in the night but I can do this all day,
    Don't need A grades ‘cause I've got this down to (A) (T),
    I'm unstoppable, I'll stop them raw and stomp ‘em all,
    No obstacle impossible, at the top tenfold,
    It's honestly logically illogical to call
    That it's possibly probably improbable,
    Don't mistake this as me being braggadocious,
    Take this as me being self aware of my omnipotence,
    The pinnacle of sentience, got your face redder than the president's,
    Not sure how to finish this so I'll probably end it mid sen

    Gravity Rush/The Lost Star:

    [Verse 1]

    Lost in this new world you're hurled in it's scary,
    Adversaries at every area, ain't sure who's an enemy,
    Not wrong to be weary, if only you knew your fate,
    You'd exude your inner confidence and realise the brave hero they made,
    Purple designation seethes over the orange sky beneath,
    Stardust melodies interweave the never ending sea,
    Destiny intervenes the temptation of fallacy,
    Your legacy a war between seeking peace and tempting tragedy

    [Hook]

    Dance on the skyline, you're so far up,
    But also so far from those that you loved,
    Will what you know ever truly be enough?
    Such is life when in that gravity rush,
    So far from home, these new streets are rough,
    But they're so proud so progression is a must,
    Aggression comes from within, this place makes you tough,
    Such is life when in that gravity rush

    [Verse 2]

    Decimate charades, they'll parade on that which you've slain,
    Slayed shams and pain, they'll take champagne in your name,
    Hang on every statement you say, the hardest game you've already played,
    Was the walkway now they take the path that you've paved,
    Showed those who spited you and made you demean your self worth,
    That your value’s invaluable, and you're the epitome of what it means to be on this Earth,
    So as the crimson skies fly and the sun shines in your victory,
    Recognise you're the one who defied strife and cemented your history

    [Hook]

    Dance on the skyline, you're so far up,
    But also so far from those that you loved,
    Will what you know ever truly be enough?
    Such is life when in that gravity rush,
    So far from home, these new streets are rough,
    But they're so proud so progression is a must,
    Aggression comes from within, this place makes you tough,
    Such is life when in that gravity rush

    [Beat Switch]

    [Verse 3]

    Lie in my flat alone,
    The sole sign of life is the fan's drone and the cold,
    The light left long ago, the night is all I know,
    Nothing beyond that, no one will even call my phone,
    Try to retreat to sleep but in my dreams the demons follow ya,
    But they don't get the chance to beat, defeat me ‘cause I got insomnia,
    Spend hours a night staring at my eyelids,
    They rise sometimes to glare again at my ceiling,
    Eyes always red, it's a stretch to call them blue,
    ‘Cept I'm always in the blues, so if eyes portray the soul then there's some truth,
    Keep fighting through the tight parts of my reality,
    Tryna tell myself there's bright spots to my nocturnality,
    It's overrated to be underrated,
    That's why I'd rather be overhated than never rated,
    Except the latter's my fate and, man I can't face it,
    So faded from the pain, that's why I'm always inebriated

    [Bridge]

    How can I reach for the stars when the sky's the limit?
    How can I be a star when there's no constellation I fit in?
    When it's all finished, can I say that I made it?
    Or will I remain a lost star, eternally fading?

    [Hook]

    Just the lost star, I wanna shine so bright,
    But how can I, when the darkness keeps winning the fight?
    I'll never know what true happiness feels like,
    So far from that, so far from that, no, die never living a life, so,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Goodbye,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    I tried

    [Verse 4]

    Being nocturnal is an eternal inferno,
    Burning holes inside my internal, till I turn old,
    But when your body clock is off and a ticking bomb of time
    How long till it ignites and sets alight a nonfinite white light?
    I take a night walk, the baggage of my life
    Is symbolised by the bags beneath my eyes,
    Only light that shines is the sidewalks’ mirror of the sky,
    The moonlight the only sign of other life,
    The cracks beside my iris
    Are the reaction of a hybrid
    Of angst thanks to society
    And anxiety blanked only by my eyelids,
    Sights set on envisioning visions of being a literary visionary,
    But I was blindsided by this cynic city, and its increasing obituary,
    My figment depicted it picturesque, I pictured it less scary,
    Every citizen wishing to rip you by your ligaments, then bury,
    I'd like to think my memorial site would be a memorable sight,
    That I'd die a star, and shine beside the burial sites I'm buried by,
    But if I don't hurry and deny my wasted time mediocrity is where I'll lie,
    Reside as a normal life who succumb to the fight

    [Bridge]

    How can I reach for the stars when the sky's the limit?
    How can I be a star when there's no constellation I fit in?
    When it's all finished, can I say that I made it?
    Or will I remain a lost star, eternally fading?

    [Hook]

    Just the lost star, I wanna shine so bright,
    But how can I, when the darkness keeps winning the fight?
    I'll never know what true happiness feels like,
    So far from that, so far from that, no, die never living a life, so,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Goodbye,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    Nostar to the lost star,
    I tried
    … did I?

    This Town:

    [Verse 1]

    Ruffled duffel bag stuffed and packed with crumpled rags,
    Laptop shoved in the rugged backpack on my back,
    I act tough and strut, but I'm actually a muddled insomniac,
    Troubled by my past and a future I've already passed,
    An old man stumbles, fumbles for his hash,
    But he just tumbles, lands on the muddied wet grass,
    Young adults hang, huddle and mumble under a crumbled tank,
    Spit fire about their past, but they've already burned and crashed,
    Empty trees claw the rundown walls, the leaves left long ago,
    I wish I could do the same, but my roots run deep in this world and they won't let go,
    Broken lights spark, and illuminate the raindrops,
    Homeless ask for change while they wait for the pain to stop,
    Drenched leather tossed, I see my face in the reflection,
    I question whether the wet’s ‘cause of tears or the weather,
    Failure’s forever feared but being lost is so perplexing,
    How can you find yourself when you're so far gone in the wrong direction?

    [Hook x2]

    Superdry clothing on yet all I wear is a frown,
    My hair's damp from the rain but that's not why I always walk looking down,
    Immerse myself in a verse of some verbs and a noun,
    But nothing can distract, from the feeling of this town

    [Sample: The Weeknd]

    So you're a somebody now
    But what's a somebody in a nobody town?

    [Verse 2]

    I exit a restaurant’s interior and look back in from the exterior,
    The outside is so mysterious, the inside hideous,
    Yet it's still a success ‘cause there's a ray of hope behind the scenes,
    That resonated with me, ‘cause that's who I used to be,
    I see a bystanding guard defiant in trying
    To avoid crying, eyes diluted with highlights of fighting
    Lowlifes at five past six, numb to silence,
    Each bloodshot blotch a snapshot of violence,
    This town is a warzone, the down and out soldiers,
    Carrying doubt on their shoulders, a cloud of loathing over
    Their head, unlike shelter, the center shrouded with groups of loners,
    Lone wolves alone, allowed to shout aloud to suppress moaning,
    For once I wish I was the outcast, but I am the same,
    It's insane that I became that which I disdain,
    This town’s like an island, and I'm a bastard turned stowaway...
    A castaway cast a way away

    [Hook x2]

    Superdry clothing on yet all I wear is a frown,
    My hair's damp from the rain but that's not why I always walk looking down,
    Immerse myself in a verse of some verbs and a noun,
    But nothing can distract, from the feeling of this town

    [Sample: The Weeknd]

    So you're a somebody now
    But what's a somebody in a nobody town?

    XO Life (Part 1):

    [Verse 1]

    It's so cold when you walk these streets alone,
    A lone shadow flows, but it only meets the dark zones,
    XO girls on fleek, talk while you moan on your own,
    Her world's so shallow, but it's all that she knows,
    Can't sip the liquor quicker, muffle your sorrows,
    Troubles’ given you vigour, but fuck your morals,
    Was always the motto to deal with your morrows tomorrow,
    But a new day never follows, the night’s but the day grown old,
    It's internal to be nocturnal, juxtaposed to the light,
    I write wrongs to right wrongs, I just suppose you fight pain with a vice,
    Must oppose the place and hide, get high and turn your silhouette white,
    Besides, a shadow’s only in sight half the time at night,
    You and I are the same, yet we're nothing alike,
    Enigmas of the night, unified by our fucked up lives,
    Defined by what we contrive to try to get what we strive,
    Numb to death, yeah we’re living that XO life

    [Hook x2]

    You only feel alive when you're about to die,
    Your whole life's a lie but it's everything you like,
    Fight the day till it's late, till the early hours are nigh,
    Enigmas of the night, yeah we’re living that XO life

    [Verse 2]

    A material girl, but you take your clothes off in an instant,
    So emotionally distant, but physically the epitome of intimate,
    Your demeanour intimidates, but the friction just creates
    Tension amongst the hate, no cons if we procreate,
    I elevate your body, alleviate by the time you fall,
    But you've done this before, I'm so glad I gave you a call,
    Slam your back to the wall, not got your heels on anymore
    Yet you still got a six inch, to make you stand tall,
    No matter how deep I get, there's no stopping your dripping,
    Whether you're on my face or head, that drenched pussy keeps leaking,
    I'll keep sipping that clit, then finish off with the tip,
    Have a spazzing spasm from the orgasm and I ain't even put it all in,
    Lie beside each other in silence, you think that's grotesque
    But what we do again tonight won’t be picturesque,
    No love, just lust, but we won’t meet again,
    Past ten, so till then, girl, let’s just pretend
    ‘Cause…

    [Hook x2]

    You only feel alive when you're about to die,
    Your whole life's a lie but it's everything you like,
    Fight the day till it's late, till the early hours are nigh,
    Enigmas of the night, yeah we’re living that XO life

    Enigmas Of The Night (Part 2):

    Night time re-arrives, the only source of light
    Is my room and the moon that illuminates the sky,
    Look at the star templates as I contemplate my life,
    The constellations’ so far, but the dead star’s the one alive,
    In my face the eclipsed one as I stand in the mirror,
    Temptations ripe, repent to be a sinner,
    I wish I could become my juxtaposition,
    I'm fucked in this position, but it's a must to keep on living,
    I used to be the one, now I feel like an outcast,
    I relieve all my last, I give everything I can,
    Still have the respect but I know they know everything I still have
    Is a shadow of myself, first sun to not be in the centre but the outlands,
    Buried under work, overworked to the limit,
    Hurried, fumbled, hurt, another starting star finished,
    Shooting for the infinite, except my boundaries are limitless,
    A six out of ten stressed victim is my definitive,
    Fade in the light, awaken at night,
    The stars are my suns and the sun’s my nightlight,
    Always tired, in a fight to defy sleep whether I
    Wish, far from normal ones who strive in the bright,
    Like I got a punctured brain cause I can't function in the day,
    Struggling to maintain my life outside this cave,
    So holed up in my head and my creative aspira’,
    Been this way since 'fore ‘98, will I ever be the same?
    Black always looming, turning windows to funhouse mirrors,
    Can't see my reflection back, bloodshot eyes impacting my vision,
    Lack of self confidence dooming me to this prism,
    Imprisoned by self criticism, pessimism looting my optimism,
    Desolation of happiness increasing my isolation,
    Can't make eye contact with someone's face without questioning their motivation,
    So focused on the future, what kind of present am I making?
    When your whole world is fabrication, what is left for the taking?
    Man I'm not even trying with this rap,
    Just fighting my sadness, almost crying in my lap,
    Relaying insecurities, replaying distant memories,
    It's inadvertently hurting me, but everyone's letting me,
    I need to get a grip but all I do is slip,
    If I just gave in and sipped I could put an end to this,
    But as it is it's tragic ‘cause my magic’s gone to shit,
    Become so acquainted with failure I can't remember what it's like to win,
    I defy what's defined of life, I say “I won't” instead of “I might”,
    So down on myself I'm uptight, and what's left is the opposite of right,
    I write in an attempt to ignite, the last glimmer of light,
    Use dark times to fight the eclipse, flip the mix so it's white,
    But when I see the white light, can I claim I lived a good life?
    Or will all I have to say is that I got by but didn't try?
    Didn't even, why? It's odd, my mind in a divide,
    Devise a solution you can use past the night,
    There's something therapeutic about the mind's music,
    Some dance to duets, don't procrastinate and just do it,
    Some have lacklustre ways, and use things to exude it,
    Some live to humour this yet refuse to assassinate their own losing shit,
    Defective in functionality effecting my reality,
    Wrecking my practicality, fending what's left of my rationality,
    Betting lots will never get to be, and to actually see,
    That in which we don't let seek us out but is that what's left for me?
    So disconnected from outside of my professions, need a lesson
    On professing my relentless headaches, getting my pain detected,
    But I'm so possessed by stress I just can't confess my depression,
    Was so happy five months ago, what the hell has happened?
    My lack of confidence has made me confidential,
    Fade to black, back to rest, sleeping through my daily schedule,
    Morphed sleep into a form of escapism, robbing my potential,
    Endorphins deepening my head holes, fuck this can't let my best go

    Vice World (Feat. DoCtaGriLLz & SlickNick):

    [Verse 1: DoCtaGriLLz]

    My stove creates a void in the community
    Since the days of high school when i was getting chased by truancy
    Scarface influenced me to chop up this straight drop
    And pocket all the change the fiends give,when their face drops
    I laugh at baseheads,they dont mean to shit to me
    My frying pan contains the residue of broken dreams and misery
    Hustlin til i see empty stares in the eyes of these suckers
    I feed my family through the downfall of others
    I Capitalize off their addiction and watch the trap in numbers
    The crack spot got my cash crops, im packin thunder
    Catch me on the corner, doing currency exchange
    Hand to hand transactions wearing a white apron & jays
    You dont know the elegance of trapping
    Everything else is irrelevant, unless we talkin bout rapping
    Its divine intervention when I serve them a 50 bag.My rocks are omnipotent, it turns niggas into fags
    A gram'll make them feel like the devils possessing them
    Im a sorcerer in this trap game, my caine is better than
    That heroin you copped, yeah doc got the medicine
    Form a line, im awol so shortys who i'm sending them

    [Hook x2: Josh27]

    Living is a side effect in the world of vice,
    Feeling is a fabrication, touch is but a lie,
    Take a step into this nation, and I think you'll find
    Temporary pain followed by one hell of a life,
    It's that vice world

    [Bridge: SlickNick]

    And It's the... verbal masturbator, herbal detonator, herbally excavating
    mercifully penetrating, ya heard me universally demonstrating...
    today I'll be your Narrator,

    Slinging Crack Rock in the backdrops, backdrops,
    fiends ringing back for that crack rock, crack rock,
    mixing acid tabs as i pass my man a pack of, pack of
    Ecstasy, Heroin and that black rock, black rock...

    [Verse 2: SlickNick]

    That Cracks got these fiends going crazy at the crack spot
    a little Methamphetamine and that black rock, that's what
    killed my man and he aint that soft, a little Heroin was his Jackpot,
    a little off track, he shot his mac off, mac off, and his enemies would back off,
    back off a stretch, a quick 5 years for serving brown bricks to his peers
    cleared after 3 for good behaviour, he said Jesus was his saviour,
    he did his bid but he's still walking round carryin a knive
    at any given time, ready to take another man's life,
    "protection doesn't come free, it carries a burden" call it straight murder,
    if you were around in 05 to 06 he probably served ya
    anything from Heroin to Cocaine, it's purga-tory
    when he got out he asked God "if you'd murder for me"
    to no reply, he started to get back busy serving crack to the kiddies
    stacking bags in the middle of his speaker box whilst bumpin out Fifty,
    living with a drug dealers mentality living as a thug breeding out bitches from the city
    getting involved in gang crime every day, knives cutting his skin
    but that mac sprayed and caught him dead in his face
    a mighty fall from grace, blasted, eradicated from Earth as a statistic takes his place.

    [Hook x2: Josh27]

    Living is a side effect in the world of vice,
    Feeling is a fabrication, touch is but a lie,
    Take a step into this nation, and I think you'll find
    Temporary pain followed by one hell of a life,
    It's that vice world

    [Verse 3: Josh27]

    Fear of peer pressure detected when I speak,
    If I die without love I'mma do it at my best, widow's peak,
    But still shrugged by society, my sobriety makes me weak,
    A game with the Devil's Nectar won't protect ya from the halo’s reach,
    But will I be let into Heaven when I'm yet to have it on Earth?
    Refusal to expand my pupils detracts me from my pupils, makes it worse,
    I'm afraid it'll beseech adverse but which brings the most hurt?
    Is rejection after adaption acceptance or a curse?
    But how can you not succumb to it when this world surrounds your circumference?
    Smoking bongs as furniture, pharmaceuticals to nurture them,
    Except it's harming and hurting yet
    Their mind's numb so they don't learn a thing,
    Drown their sorrows and their harrowing morrows,
    Wallow by broken bottles, forget time so there's no tomorrow,
    Physical or mental anguish,
    Which is the harder pill to swallow?
    Seen family deranged as their brain's decay
    But does the momentary escape make the rage okay?
    I'm just scared I'll be afraid of the initial disdain
    Less than the everlasting pain (what do I say?)
    ‘Cause

    [Hook x2: Josh27]

    Living is a side effect in the world of vice,
    Feeling is a fabrication, touch is but a lie,
    Take a step into this nation, and I think you'll find
    Temporary pain followed by one hell of a life,
    It's that vice world

    Railroads (Feat. Tempest & Blogs McGooch):

    [Verse 1: Spider-Man]

    I want to paint pictures but my hand is clumsy
    I want to make songs but I can't sing lovely
    I want to play instruments but haven't learned music
    Hearing my own crappy voice makes me so sick
    Frustated, angry, mad at the world
    I shoot for the stars but can't even reach a bird
    I scream as loud as I can yet it's unheard
    I feel like I'm going mad like George the Third
    I write a word then tear the paper
    Never satisfied, I feel the hater
    Inside me, I just can't heal the failure
    I won't be happy 'til I see the Maker
    Miles of railroads but the train broke down
    I have to walk the way but there ain't no time
    I'm ought to do more but it just can't go down
    So I keep on repeating that same old rhyme
    Because

    [Hook: Josh27]

    Everything I do is wack, but I just can't react,
    No amount of training can keep me on track,
    All this writing on my shelf won't go someplace else,
    I just don't have the confidence in myself,
    Testing my ego, my destination I don't know,
    I guess I'll go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    I don't know where to go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    Can't lead with my head, so I'll just follow the railroads

    [Verse 2: Blogs McGooch]

    What's gonna make me whole, what's gonna make me complete
    Looking for all these external things always tryna compete
    To get that validation feels like I'm salivating
    For the love and praise it's this feeling of satisfaketion
    Not true happiness not doing what I want
    Living life for others man I'm way too scared to flaunt
    My abilities my dreams my goals and all my thoughts
    Censoring my words my actions and a lot
    Of myself trying to be somebody that I'm really not
    Why because I'm living in fear what if I get caught
    Doing something that society might think is kinda off
    Head full of dreams but I'm imprisoned in this box
    Setting limits on myself don't believe in my potential
    Why try at all you're not good enough put down the pencil
    Yeah those other people made it, but you can't
    You really think that you stand a true chance against two thousand hands
    Or however many people are trying to break into this craft
    I had no idea until now that you were that daft
    Time to give up on my dreams and rent a huge raft
    Sail down the river make a promise never to look back

    [Hook: Josh27]

    Everything I do is wack, but I just can't react,
    No amount of training can keep me on track,
    All this writing on my shelf won't go someplace else,
    I just don't have the confidence in myself,
    Testing my ego, my destination I don't know,
    I guess I'll go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    I don't know where to go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    Can't lead with my head, so I'll just follow the railroads

    [Verse 3: Josh27]

    We're all looking for that which makes us whole,
    But it's tragical when the search is the only thing you know,
    I'm still in transit, tryna find my place in this world,
    I'm so far from home and my desires completely juxtapose,
    Do I take a risk and follow my creative dreams?
    Or endure 104 more weeks to achieve a life based in reality?
    Or is this it for me? Drifting in the wind till I no longer be,
    Destined for so much more, I don't wanna be ordinary,
    Normal life is scary, it's so far done me no good,
    The bad is what made me, but if I could take it all back I would,
    I wasn't prepared for that shit, but I did what I could,
    I continue sleeping like a log but I should be the firewood,
    Can never go back to my roots, I've come so far,
    But use those hard times to spark your art,
    Ignite those thoughts, turn ashes to fire,
    Don't focus on the dark side of the moon, you’ll miss the shooting stars,
    Standing at the train station pondering the destination of the railroads,
    What if I didn't get on the one that's proposed?
    What if I got on another and went to a place I didn't know?
    Erase my past and present and flow with wherever I go,
    Imagine I was in a world where I was accepted by my peers,
    Imagine I was hurled to a place where I can make the most of my years,
    Imagine I could be somewhere I could be me,
    Imagine I didn't hold myself back, think “what’ll happen? We'll see”,
    Your nan knew a family whose daughter wanted to sing,
    But couldn't ‘cause her father didn't support her dream,
    But your family cherish you and are for what you seek,
    So what in the fuck is stopping you from submitting that piece!?
    You can sit here and swallow those self caused wallows
    Or you can channel those sorrows and create a better tomorrow,
    You don't have to live like this, your best is still yet,
    You've already lived long enough in a life of regret

    [Hook x2: Josh27]

    Everything I do is wack, but I just can't react,
    No amount of training can keep me on track,
    All this writing on my shelf won't go someplace else,
    I just don't have the confidence in myself,
    Testing my ego, my destination I don't know,
    I guess I'll go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    I don't know where to go, guess I'll flow with the railroads,
    With the railroads, with the railroads,
    Can't lead with my head, so I'll just follow the railroads

    Heaven Or Hell?:

    [Verse 1]

    Get lost elsewhere through box office and software,
    Got no friends but just watch what's on air,
    Don't acknowledge your life's bare, it ain't fair but you don't care,
    That's what you lodge in your logic but you know the truth’s not there,
    You're lost in the real land too, you conceal your splatoon,
    Except that's only blue ‘cause you can't act on what you wanna do,
    React to what you, know that's coming soon,
    Do nothing to stop your nightmares coming true,
    Prevent those testing me from meddling my destiny,
    Messing with my energy relentlessly till it's also my legacy,
    Except I'm the only enemy I see, my downfall’s my hypocrisy,
    RIP ‘cause of my negativity, mentality mentally spent it seems,
    A dead inside enigma attempting an endless try at living,
    Pivoting from things riveting ‘cause of self lies last minute,
    This timidness to intimacy, intimidated denying my wishing,
    Crying ‘cause I'm not ignorant to my tendency to self limit

    [Hook]

    Oh lost child, such a lost child,
    You try to find solace through morphing to other realms,
    But no distant dreams can distract the fact that you need help,
    So lost in your world you'll never see the whole world for yourself,
    In your own definitive heaven, it'll be your infinite hell

    [Verse 2]

    Coined 27 Savage but that can flip on a dime,
    Every line you rapping scrutinised for all time,
    Channeling desires to die, tryna make a killing off of life,
    Justify tear flow through flowing fears, redefine crying,
    I aspire to immortalise my mortal mind,
    Try to deny daytime strife by writing nocturnal vibes,
    Rhyme lines so tight the friction defies
    Written physics and lights lightning alight,
    Chronicle painful molecules but they label you diabolical,
    Drowning in horror full sorrows but all they sea is a pirate nautical,
    Flow like processes hydrological, but it's still impossible to win them all
    Over, critical of your syllables, make ‘em bounce but it's improbable they'll play ball,
    If only I'd try something new, defy the things I've always knew,
    Raise hell for heaven's sake, instead of moaning mind numbing tunes
    Until the pain only shoots through my throat deep,
    So pray for me but it won't alleviate my agony

    [Hook]

    Oh lost child, such a lost child,
    You try to find solace through morphing to other realms,
    But no distant dreams can distract the fact that you need help,
    So lost in your world you'll never see the whole world for yourself,
    In your own definitive heaven, it'll be your infinite hell

    [Verse 3]

    In the lonely nights loneliness is the only friend,
    I’m afraid I’ll be alone until the end,
    Technology and rhymes solely past ten,
    No one else to talk to after then,
    Overplaying mp3s till the forthcoming death of me,
    Entranced in melody in hopes it gives me energy,
    But it’ll be my swan song before my destiny inevitably,
    Not even Dr. Dre can play a remedy (I wish I could…)
    Pay to slay pain but age is made up,
    So time’s always the same, society’s restraints’ just a hindrance,
    Grey and white lines the sky, so used to this sight,
    The night is cyclical, the morning birds my goodnight lullaby,
    If there's a God and he sends for me next
    The reverend’s gonna need to be Heaven sent
    ‘cause the Devil's resting on both sides of my neck
    Possessing my head, hence why my morals are hellbent

    [Bridge]

    Hovering above their horns the halo is,
    But they can't be saved for they're an atheist,
    But God doesn't know that, their demons will never tell,
    That's what will bound them between heaven and hell

    [Hook x2]

    Oh lost child, such a lost child,
    You try to find solace through morphing to other realms,
    But no distant dreams can distract the fact that you need help,
    So lost in your world you'll never see the whole world for yourself,
    In your own definitive heaven, it'll be your infinite hell

    Vita:

    Grew up being raised in the mean streets of Wales,
    Was fazed from an early age from having to fight tooth and nail
    Beneath creaking floorboards and a family tree set to derail,
    It'd be a miracle if I didn't fail,
    But my mum, nan and I shunned inevitability,
    And used everything in our ability to rid of the
    Riddling villainy cemented in our town's history
    Potentially hindering our legacy and ending what could've been,
    Always there for me when they bought San Andreas,
    I spent ages on that game playing Dr. Dre and
    Snoop Dogg, NWA, Pac and rock stations,
    Made it clear from a young age the tunes that would become my saviour,
    Rap and rock latched in my block, high school became the object,
    I acknowledged knowledge and got it lodged in my logic,
    But it was there where, right from the offset,
    Other pupils saw weakness prominent in my optics,
    And swiftly demolished any bit of my confidence,
    Quickly stomping it and offing what made me an optimist,
    And it wasn't just the ridicule that made me sad,
    That only added to the angst I had after the death of my grandad,
    A bastard, no dad, the lack of that made me mad,
    With one father figure gone, at least my uncle I still have,
    Except that didn't last, a year later he also passed,
    At age fifteen I was deemed my family's main man,
    That just added to my anxiety dividing me from society
    And multiplied peer pressure to minus my sobriety,
    I was dying for popularity but instead I kept crying in
    The library, all alone, the death of my soul prying me,
    My great grades began to change, and anger became rage,
    When I'd finally made a friend I'd make our relationship decay,
    I hated what I became and it deranged my brain,
    Things never remained the same, that day I almost went insane,
    It was at rock bottom I remembered my love for hip hop,
    Got into lots of shit like Eminem and Kid Rock,
    Began to adopt what they'd think and my fucks started to stop,
    My fear of what others thought of me slowly flopped and dropped,
    Stalled my downward spiral, adapted squeals to high notes,
    Reacted to vile slander without appall ‘cause I know
    Their pressures for acceptance are mauled when I present denial,
    Become comfortable with myself, grades and friends then, I got all,
    Subsequently headed to college, got acquainted with me,
    Became infatuated with writing, both raps and stories,
    It was there where I realised what I wanted to be,
    And for the first time my nightmares morphed into dreams,
    It was at this time I first joined HHS,
    And as odd as it seems that helped me find myself,
    I was accepted instantly, they voted me the best
    Member of the year, learned my self worth was wealth,
    It juxtaposed what I'd been told, it was odd but it made me smile,
    Got to know Blogs, viJ, Rolly and Rafael,
    Amongst others, and despite my recent fleeting activity
    The Shelter will always have meaning, it'll always be my family,
    The positivity maintained as I gained more friends,
    And for the first time I thought I might have a happy end,
    Decimated college, got my place in uni confirmed,
    If only I'd knew it's where my life’d take a turn for the worse,
    Reached the new city, now so far from home,
    Making friends here isn't as easy, I quickly felt alone,
    No detection of erecting an election of connection,
    Self destruction disrupted my functions, I felt pathetic,
    I internalised internal lies surmised by infernal times,
    My newly alive immoral mind began to immortalise,
    And no line or rhyme could revive tries to deny life strife,
    My best years already died and passed by,
    Ignorant claims are the lone thing I see,
    They say ignorance is bliss, but the unknown scared me,
    I'd retreat to bed with hair like I just had a sleep,
    Was in shit so deep I'd fallen into fallacy,
    Had to be the first time my reality was smacked with tragedy,
    Even when my family members died I had my friends, mum and nan to speak,
    Here was just me, myself and my anxiety,
    Considered my last day being Christmas 2016,
    Hoping under the mistletoe would be the kiss of death,
    That the new year would be the beginning of the end,
    I meant the world to them, my fam, but I'd lost all self respect,
    Myself couldn't be less selfless,
    Then came 2017, and things began developing,
    Heard a melody on my phone, a text from an old friend I see,
    We get reacquainted, each laugh making energy,
    And consequently, my depression kept getting beat,
    Ultimately returned to uni, and it was at that time
    That red vibes lied above in the sky,
    The crimson skies ignite the inner fire of my mind,
    Wired my drive to go hard, inspired me to write,
    Fitting ‘cause DoC, Nick and Spider invited me to be creative,
    I accepted and turned my agitation from feeling down to elation,
    People dug my creations, then interrogated for future writtens,
    Beseeched me to keep being, and gave me even further meaning via submissions,
    All of it reputed pollution with mental resolution,
    Disputed my muted smiles, caused happiness restitution,
    Moved my mood to that worthwhile, I saw it ain’t a curse,
    That there’s more to this all than sadness, mourning and birth,
    ‘Cause life is poetry and yin and yang align,
    I guess that’s why “alive” and “suicide” rhyme,
    From sin to salvation, it's been a hell of a ride
    But I believe the peaks and perils ultimately level out, one line
    ‘Cause comeuppance comes up from the ups and downs,
    Thus I wouldn't take it back, ‘cause it's why I'm me now,
    So acceptance or rejection, in the end it's all progression,
    An addition to who you are in the ending,
    So thanks HHS for pressing my threads and reading,
    Letting me be me, I promise the next project won’t be so depressing (lel),
    My molecules might expire beside time but my inside fire’ll never die,
    And so we say “see ya” to Vita, the chronicles of my life

    27 Bars (Bonus Track):

    My written piece will make you rest in peace,
    Submission’s fucked you up so bad your asshole looks like a wreath,
    So far up, in space my bars be,
    Comparatively, you make people control, alt, delete,
    All I ever do is 10/10 or better,
    That's why when they review what I develop they rate it out of 27,
    I'm never static, a rap addict acting like a robot,
    Eradicating existing rappers systematic, no stop,
    Also beat ‘em old school, I control the wild west,
    I eat fools, your food for thought is mild at best,
    Devour every rapper, DJ Mustard to Eminem,
    An enigma of the game, a mix of The Weeknd and MC Ren,
    They're stars at war, but they're not the only rogue one,
    I'm one too, I'll say it thrice for fun,
    Top five DOA, leaving six severed it's ballistic,
    Ate nine rappers today, tendency to number their statistics,
    But I'm tryna fuck their bitch and her friends, everyday an endeavour,
    Do whatever wherever, however with whoever whenever,
    That's the five W’s, hope you understood that play with the letter,
    ‘cause they're the only W’s you're getting, ‘cause I always get better,
    My literary syllables will literally kill them all,
    You're like a shop in an infinite hole… abyss-mall,
    You think you eat rappers, I eat rappers out
    ‘Cause my tongue tricks, has them cumming loud,
    I ain't your run of the mill, I make you look meek,
    I'm not the e-lite, you'll see I'm the online elite,
    'Cause my album of writtens, Vita, begins releasing next week

    Pingu Poem (Bonus Track):

    One day in November, I came home depressed,
    My head in a haze, my state was a mess,
    I tried to fix it, by putting on some Eminem and singing,
    But all attempts were futile, something was missing,
    I went on The Shelter, where BayMonarch was banned,
    He came back as a bird, but his act was bland,
    Still feeling down, I went asleep not sure what to do,
    Not knowing the next day, I'd meet someone called Pingu,
    At first I was uncertain, is his presence a waste?
    But the more I saw him, the bigger the smile became on my face,
    Every post was the same, repeating two words,
    Yet it made me happy again, it was delightfully absurd,
    I'd rush home from school, sit at my PC with two burgers,
    And indulge in the best thing, since Fedora McAssburgers,
    I'd post right beside him, all and every day long,
    My happiness finally back, what could go wrong?
    But Noddy caught wind, and became increasingly vigilant,
    Then accusations arose, that Pingu was viJilance,
    But how could this be? It just couldn't sink in,
    One is an anal vulture, the other’s a penguin,
    He continued to post, but Pingu was on thin ice,
    Me, Blogs and Nick, hoped Nod would just let it slide,
    But his fate was then chose, the mods taking no deter,
    The ban hammer hit, so hard it'd trigger PETA,
    Riots rose ‘cross the site, the mod’s corruption intensified,
    We all begged for him back, but his return was just denied,
    My sadness returned, my hero’s been let go,
    The Shelter's greatest lost, since the departure of Menzo,
    I still think of Pingu to this day, when I do I just grieve,
    The worst day of my life, was the day he had to leave,
    I break out in a sweat, I can't breath, I go mute,
    His last words in my head. Those words? NOOT NOOT!

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Narrative analysis:

    One thing I was proud of with this concept was the ability to do things that had never been done before in this section, most notably the ability to have an overarching narrative and themes across all of the involved writtens.

    Vita was written in response to the first time I ever experienced depression. In September 2016 I started university, however by 2017 things weren't going how I imagined and ultimately, I plummeted into depression. I had barely made any friends, my grades for the first time weren't as good as I've come to expect from myself, and I was having a hard time adjusting to the new city I had moved to for the university. Around this time, SlickNick and DoCtaGriLLz were doing a written called “Dave OG Miles Diss” (lol), and invited me to do a verse for it. With Tempest and a few others previously feeling a written I had done before called “Pingu Poem” I felt compelled to do it, completing my verse for it and then not thinking anything else of it.

    However as I continued my downward spiral, I continued thinking about writing. I remember one night I was up at around 6am, struggling to get anywhere with an assignment and generally just being, you know, depressed. Feeling like there was no source of happiness I could turn to in that moment, I just started writing down my thoughts in rap form, doing a piece called “Insomniac” that I ultimately adapted into this project's sixth written “Enigmas Of The Night (Part 2)”. It made me feel better, and with the good feedback to a few more writtens I did (“A Quick 27”, a few features, etc.) I started realising that writing writtens was the escape from my mind I needed.

    Ultimately, I envisioned the concept of “Vita” based on the fucked circumstances I found myself in, writing all my stresses and insecurities down. That combined with the continued enthusiasm everyone here had for the other writtens I was doing finally brought some happiness back into my life, and I truly believe it was a leading reason for why I ultimately got out of the depression. It allowed me to get these toxic thoughts out of my mind and into something constructive - it was the epitome of what I believe art to be, and as an aspiring writer even prior to this it was awesome even just getting something I wrote creatively out in the world; even more so that it was being received well and that I was even impacting people emotionally with it (the final, titular track “Vita” especially resonated with people it seems, which meant more to me than most realise).

    So, let's look at the narrative directly. I took a very cinematic approach to this project, including stuff like overarching themes and, perhaps most notably, character development. One thing I find fascinating about Vita on a meta level is how it essentially documents my descent, struggle through and ultimate escape from depression, as me writing this while I experienced it literally encapsulated my downfall and upswing through it - I used this as the basis for the narrative, the protagonist literally being me. The narrative is split into three acts, act one being “Intergalactic” and “About Me”, act two being “Gravity Rush/The Lost Star” to and including “Enigmas Of The Night (Part 2)”, and act three being “Vice World” to and including “Vita”.

    The narrative actually starts with the third written, “Gravity Rush/The Lost Star”. The first half of this (“Gravity Rush”) chronicles my thoughts upon arriving in the new city, including my optimism for what the future held for me (especially as the first person of my family to go to university) and the general hopes I had for university. I actually draw a parallel here with 2012 video game “Gravity Rush”, a game where you play as someone who wakes up with amnesia in an unfamiliar world and with unexplainable superpowers, that protagonist essentially being in the same position as me in regards to location, situation, but also optimism and, on paper, a really promising future despite some natural doubts.

    The second hook is then followed by a beat switch, signifying the change into a much darker section tonally. This is where I chronicle the reality of the situation, where everything is nothing like I imagined and where I can see myself slipping further and further from happiness. I detail a plethora of my thoughts here, including my loneliness, stress, as well as concerns about my future creatively (I delve into this latter theme fully on the eighth written “Railroads”, more on that later).

    This is followed by “This Town”, a written essentially setting the scene for the project by detailing what the new city is like. During my depression I got into this horrible rut where I'd go into the city centre for food at around 8pm, a time where the streets were dark, empty and occupied only by homeless people, gangs of rebellious teenagers, lowlifes and fuck knows what else. As such this written is essentially chronicling everything I saw on these late evening walks, as well as the numerous insecurities and negative thoughts I'd have about myself as I walked alone to the nearest fast food joint. This project is so fascinating to me in hindsight because it has the same level of meta-ness as, for example, Kanye’s “Pinocchio Story”, as I'm literally detailing my thoughts and situation as I'm experiencing them.

    This leads into the two part writtens “XO Life (Part 1)” and “Enigmas Of The Night (Part 2)”, writtens that delve deeper into this town's culture. Specifically I look at what I label the “enigmas of the night”, which I split into two types of people - the type who stay up all night partying and drinking, and the type that stay up all night dwelling on their insecurities in solitude. XO Life mostly explores the former, looking at girls I've seen who party all night fronting that they're having fun, but in fact are trying to distract themselves from their own shallowness and drown their sorrows with vices (this latter topic being explored even further on “Vice World”, again more on that in a bit). I include an allusion to the “XO” brand in this, a reference to The Weeknd who has also done songs exploring the psyche of these type of girls (girls living the “XO” lifestyle, hence the title “XO Life”). I also find this written interesting in hindsight because of what's not said, most notably how cynical and somewhat nihilistic my thoughts and views are on this niche of people - it really highlights the negativity I was harbouring at that point, and as such is also quite an intriguing exploration of the mind of someone deep in the clutches of depression.

    “Enigmas Of The Night” looks at this in a more direct way. This written deals with the other “enigma of the night” which is the category I fall in; the written is basically me addressing all of my thoughts at the time, including the reclusive, antisocial lifestyle I had developed, how my nocturnal nature was impacting my quality of life, my low self esteem, and numerous other likewise elements. I also have parts where I compare myself to the other “enigma”, noting things like how I wish I were I like them and the like. I especially like in hindsight how it's just one 64 bar block, representing my stream of depressed consciousness due to it basically being my way to get my toxic thoughts out.

    Next is “Vice World”, featuring the fam DoCtaGriLLz and SlickNick. This again dives into the town's culture to an extent, this time focusing on the social phenomenon of drinking and taking drugs, be it as a pastime and/or as a way of gaining social acceptance. DoC and Nick both kill this by detailing the dark, gritty world this lifestyle can entail, setting up my verse nicely; my verse takes a different approach to theirs, instead commenting on it from an external perspective. I've never drank, smoked or done drugs in my entire life, so with my verse I was heavily commenting on the pressures society has nowadays in regards to vices, including me contemplating whether I should do them just so I could finally have the social acceptance I was dying for at that point. I also consider the pros and cons, as well as the cons of having that lifestyle compared to the destructive lifestyle I was currently living (the line “physical or mental anguish, which is the harder pill to swallow?” sums this up nicely I think). There's even more to my verse but I'd like to leave that open to interpretation, I went for very deep lyrics with my verse and I'm insanely happy with the result.

    Vice World is also a pivotal track in Vita’s narrative, as it signifies the first major bit of character development the protagonist has. Up to this point the lyrics have been predominantly self loathing, hating myself but at the same time not really thinking on how to fix it - however on this written I take a far more evaluative approach to myself, beginning to recognise the terrible life I was living and realising that maybe I should do something about it - it's also huge because it's basically a make or (further) break moment, because if I had decided to give in I could have gone down an even darker downward spiral, however we know now I/the protagonist did the right thing. It's a major breakthrough for the protagonist. There were hints throughout Enigmas that I was starting to recognise my problem, but it's this written where I seriously begin questioning if I should do something about it.

    This continues in “Railroads”, featuring my baes Tempest and Blogs McGooch. As I've alluded to a couple times already, I have aspirations of being a writer; however I feel that that's somewhat of an unrealistic occupation, so I went to university doing computer science so that I would have what I consider a “realistic” backup if my writing plans don't work out. However, likely due to my depression, my computer science degree was not going so well - my grades were a step down from what they were in high school and college, and after a while the stress of the course essentially triggered an existential crisis. Railroads deals with this, as I start questioning whether this is really something I want to continue doing - two lines embody my dilemma effectively, as I ponder “do I take a risk and follow my creative dreams?/Or endure 104 more weeks to achieve a life based in reality?”. Tempest and BM contribute to the concept perfectly with two equally fantastic verses.

    Next is “Heaven Or Hell?”, where I again deal with a dilemma. As I touched on earlier, part of the lifestyle I had developed due to my depression resulted in me becoming very reclusive, always staying in my room and not socialising because it was the only place I felt I actually got any happiness - the social anxiety I had developed made trying to interact impossible, and the only joy I thought I was getting then was from sitting in my room, playing it safe by sticking to what I know instead of taking some risks. Thus I ponder whether my “personal heaven” is actually a heaven, or the complete opposite of that - a living hell that only helped exemplify my ever manifesting depression (as well as limit the growth of me as a person). The line in the hook “In your own definitive heaven, it'll be your infinite hell” again pretty much describes this to a t. There's also a decent amount of heaven and hell imagery scattered throughout this, which I'll leave open to interpretation - it's also ambiguous as to whose perspective the hook is from (is it an angel? My subconscious? Me telling/trying to convince myself?), however I'll again leave it open.

    This dilemma, as well as the character arcs and all of the project's other themes, are concluded in the final written, “Vita”. The title track of the album, Vita details me looking back over my entire life so far, assessing the ups and downs of it before ultimately concluding that, in fact, life is always a roller-coaster, and the fact that my life sucks right now is a natural part of it all, as well as why the positive moments are so special. This in turn solves the protagonist’s fear of rejection in favour of sticking with himself, as I realise that things like rejection are an equally pivotal part of life that only serve to help me grow as a person. The protagonist’s disputes handled and me finally out of depression, the album narratively then concludes with the opening tracks “Intergalactic” and “About Me”, tracks where I'm back to myself and just having fun rapping, be it just flexing my way with words and newly regained confidence on the former, or doing a playful, more comedic style with the latter (you could also interpret them as being at the start of the album, representing my state before the depression, an also valid alternative and actually now my personal “canon” explanation in lieu of my second written album continuing this project’s story).

    So, that's Vita’s narrative in a nutshell. There's a couple more themes both individually and overarching that I didn't quite delve into here, however they're stuff I feel work better left open to interpretation as opposed to detailing it all. In hindsight, Vita is probably one of the most important things I've ever done - like I said before it gave me a release for all of the anxieties and stress I was harbouring, as well as a way for me to have a source of happiness through people's feedback to it, through having something constructive to channel my sadness into, etc. Writing this project I truly believe was the main reason why I managed to escape depression, and it'll always hold a special place for me for that reason. It's also huge for me because it's the first creative thing I've done that I've ever released to others, which I view as a pretty significant step and is again something that means more to me than a lot of people perhaps realise.

    People's support of my writing has been awesome, and the people that have stuck around through most or all of this project I'm extremely grateful for, especially the one or two people who will even take the time out of their day to read this analysis lol. Becoming a creative section regular this year has been amazing, and I 100% plan to continue trying to keep this lit section afloat. This section kinda has its own little culture different to the other sections (the same way the Em, Yela and backstage sections do too, for better or worse for some of those sections) and I love it, just knowing there's a bunch of people online who will willingly write about basically anything with me whenever I want is a great feeling, especially when you're in the position I was.

    I'll be releasing my second written album, “Chronicles Of A Life Passing By”, soon, one written every Monday at around 7pm UK time (just a rough time, it can obviously change if impacted by outside variables, etc.). It's a Man On The Moon II inspired project that I'm really happy with so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing how you guys react to the stuff I've done for it. So if you've somehow made it this far I really appreciate it, it means the world to me. Until the next one :ye:
     
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